Today I was supposed to leave the studio at a specific time but just before walking out, I saw something on a painting that I just had to fix. It took a couple of minutes. Now I am sitting here after coming home 4 hours early to meet the cable television guy who was supposed to install TV connection. My window of time was 2-4 pm. I missed him by 3 minutes. That was about the time it took to add that one extra green shape on that painting back at the studio. This happens to me all the time.
What is it about this line of work that can make you so obsessive?
I am told endlessly that I am always working. I can say that “everyone” probably is right. I do call my art “work”. It certainly feels like it sometimes. When my painting is not going well I definitely call it work. And I usually say it in this sentence: “So I have to go to work now”. When there is more spaciousness in my life I usually call it “painting”. The difference is subtle but palpable. Work seems to have fewer choices, but painting has plenty. Painting is unexplored and is indefinite. However, you can overly fill your life with Art, just as you can with work. How do you balance your art comfortably in your life?
How do you do Art part time? How do you kind of go for it? You’re either in all the way or you are not. At least, this is how it seems to work for me. I sometimes feel I don’t have balance in my life. Actually I know I don’t. If I had a job that was only 30 – 40 hours a week that started and stopped at a specific time every day, it would be so easy to then plan out and balance all the other things such as relationships, domestic things, volunteering, personal and cultural things. I am quietly jealous of those who can consistently tune in every Sunday at 6 pm to watch a TV series for 40 weeks in a row. That is just not how I have structured my life. Everything seems to ebb and flow around my art making. I work hard for several months then have a show, then slip into unproductiveness then start up again. It even goes this way as I am working on several paintings. Some just stay kind of marginal. I then have to push harder at it – become even more focused to move them towards something more compelling. I think the issue with treating Art like a regular job, or the disparity between work and Art has to do with the degree of learning and the required uncertainty in Art making.
In art, you are constantly pushing up against things you do not know, you do not understand and as a result, there just is always a degree of uncertainty present. When you are at work, at a job, you generally want to lessen unsureness. But in art, if you are perfectly rehearsed, perfectly sure all the time, then for some reason, the work ends up looking a bit stale. Good art is risky. So if there needs to be uncertainty in art to make it interesting then I just never really know how and when the painting will turn that corner. It is, by its very nature, an uncertain enterprise. It is not formulaic. It usually does work itself out – sometimes quick, sometimes more slowly – but it always requires such focus. So much so that it can be kind of hard transitioning or really getting interested in doing much of anything else. If you’re stumbling blindfolded along in the dark and are just reaching, feeling something that is understandable, it is just damn hard to stop what you are doing, sit down and wait till the next day. At least for me.
This art business is just not like regular work. I see how much it affects everything I relate with in my life. It is a bit like herding cats. You want to put this all in a nice tidy box but it doesn’t fit. It is a roller coaster; it is so wonderful, is sucks so heavily sometimes, it is admired, then sometimes people feel pity for your plight. I still don’t know the answer. I do know I am way too in to change things now. I cannot imagine getting a regular job. The more art I make, the more curious I become. What would I make – what could I make if I spent my life trying? Each attempt at a piece of art is a clue as to this outcome. I don’t think this should ever be called “work”. Maybe it is better to just call it Art. Work is a part of your life, but your Art, if you’re willing and able, is more like your life.
Does your Art feel like work? Is it?
In balance, Nicholas
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Hi! I’m
Nicholas Wilton
the founder of Art2Life.
With over 20 years experience as a working artist and educator, I’ve developed a systematic approach that brings authenticity, spontaneity and joy back into the creative process.
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Well said, Nicolas. I’ve even printed what you’ve written because so much of it rings true, especially the line that “good art is risky.” Yes, when it is all going well, I’m painting, but when I’m wrestling with a piece, it is work – I think I work more than I paint!
Oh yes, you are not alone. My studio is in my home – just up the stairs from the kitchen – just down the hall from the bedroom…need I say more?
Yes, we are always caught by our work, either because we are making it or having a lightening storm of ideas about it, drawing, putting our latest idea down, quickly before it gets away. I think our brains are given over, like prisoners to our cause of Art. It’s a blessing and a curse but it’s not a choice. I don’t think anyone decides to be an artist.
It does make it difficult to have a balanced life. There are perks on good days. Lots of people are fascinated by creativity. But we invent the wheel every single day. We create our own structure, or not. I think because our lives are entirely of our making we don’t fit well into the framework of other people’s differently structured lives. We are always buzzing.
I am grateful for this life. There are days when I am caught up short. Friends are often cautiously critical of my not taking time to stop and relax. But I do, in my own way.
I don’t think anyone gets everything and life is never easy. But some days in the studio are so delicious, gratifying and fulfilling. The days that aren’t are building the groundwork for the days that are. I think we are a lucky group. The Comcast guy can come another day.
Thanks for sharing this Nicolas. My art making is always a balance between chaos and control. And, you do have to push through the fear and challenges. I love the feeling of being lost in the flow of decision making and guiding the painting along as it unfolds before my eyes.
For the most part, whenever there’s a deadline, compensation ( and/or some form of contract ), or expectations ( real or imagined ), regarding one’s creative endeavors, it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to keep the feeling that you’re “working” at bay. When this occurs, I believe that it’s important to keep in mind the reason we are so “obsessed” with making art in the first place. For me, expressing myself through visual art is truest to my nature. The very act of creating… the creative process itself, is what has to be in the forefront. When that is clear, then it’s a bit easier to take risks. I also think of the thought you shared at one point, Nick, ” making art your vacation, not your vocation. “
There are two basic views of ‘work’. One is something you do because it is productive and satisfying, the other is more like a monkey on ones’ back.I approach art making with the same New York work ethic I grew up with. This includes commitment, focus, discipline, etc. That being said, if I am feeling overwhelmed by the need to produce or exhibit, then the idea of ‘work’ turns into a burden and I cannot produce anything of quality. It is a fine line I often vacillate between.
You’re so right about the distinction between working when it is productive and satisfying versus when
one feels burdened and pressured…