I’ve recently had a change in how I think about my work when it is not going as well as I want it to. This change has helped me regain control of my creative process and has made it so much easier to paint.
Take a moment to watch the video, and let me know how you stay in control of your work.
37 Comments
Hi! I’m
Nicholas Wilton
the founder of Art2Life.
With over 20 years experience as a working artist and educator, I’ve developed a systematic approach that brings authenticity, spontaneity and joy back into the creative process.
Join me and artists from all over the world in our Free Art2Life Artists Facebook Group or learn more here about Art2Life.
Wow! That is such a great way to get out of the out of control victim mode! Love it.
Perfect timing for me! Thank you!
This reminds me of one of the Zen principles of training the mind – “Drive all blames into one.” The sense that “the buck stops here” so we absorb all the “blame” and responsibility. It frees up our heart and mind from externals and clarifies our power and agency in a way. Beautiful.
I get caught in my mind a lot… staring at a piece, wondering if it’s good, wondering what to do next as if that mattered! Lately I’ve been working more diligently to try to be present, notice the inbreath, notice that outbreath, be here and not in my head. Trying to tune into my senses instead of my obsessing mind seems to help me feel more centered and in control, less anxious, more empowered perhaps.
Thank you for your posts/videos. They regularly touch into a vulnerable soft spot that needs attention or clarity. I so appreciate you!
Hi Nicholas I had a pivot moment yesterday when i caught myself being all stressed and frantic and rushing to meet a deadline. Felt so off-kilter I almost went home- but instead I advised myself to calm down, relax and return my practice to play and discovery. And that pushed the reset button & I had a wonderful rest of the day. Sounds simple later – but not quite so in the heat of the emotions!
Strength implies having power and being able to act with confidence, while
weakness implies being powerless and helpless in attitude. Person with
inner strength not only always find some aspect of a situation that they
can control, but also feel responsible for taking action to fix the
situation, even if there are many hardship & obstacles.
Dr Anil Kumar Sinha quotes
Nicolas, I think you are spot on! I have been learning this lesson too. I am exercising my responsibility muscle more and more each day. I am learning to over ride the excuse and seek the solution. Somehow the little flowers are able to bloom through the gravel. They just don’t give up:) Thank you again for your blogs. They are enlightening. One excuse I am finding a solution for is finding yhe time and money to come to one of your workshops. I am not going to give up:)
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b45f313f9d9343fac32689f7922407170bc677ce2e616a13a9f15ffa68c9261c.png
I love you too, thanks for all your words of wisdom! Works not only in art, but in life.
This is true for all aspects of your life! Even if someone really is the cause of a problem for you, YOU are in charge of how you react and solve the problem! Thanks for the reminder that this is true for my art life too.
As a follow on from being in the driver’s seat, I try to ensure that anything I undertake, I am in control. It is so easy to relinquish control to agents and third parties. These parties are in theory to allow you to spend more time on your work, but in practice I find the more people I get to ‘help’ me, the less control I have and the more chaos is brought into the mix. There is a saying something along the lines of ‘Love many, trust few, paddle your own canoe’.
Great concept. I find that as I get older, I’m able to live with more equanimity as I assume more responsibility for myself!
Another way to say it is that everything is perfect as it is. Our expectations make us think something is not going right, but your life is moving along perfectly, so just pick up from there instead of listening to the voice that says “you are wrong, lazy, not very smart, other artists would handle this so much better, etc.” Even our expectations are perfect in a way because they are giving us support and direction, but it’s better to delete any negativity that is hidden in those expectations.
I agree Patricia this is so true .
Right on… always good to look to oneself in all situations, not just painting. Be kind to ourselves and search for how we could do better always good plan!! Nice idea to plant on a Sunday morning… thanks!
Good mantra… “stay in the drivers seat”!
I like the canvas for these strokes 😉 Thinking it isn’t so much about control–ME being in control because there are so many variables in life: pigment, paper, minerals in the water, brushes…or perspectives, judgments, conclusions of the other that I can not change or reverse. Just say what needs to be said and then leave it. Not to protect the victim stance, but simply to say I’m learning it is relational. What is my relationship to circumstance, decisions, choices and how they land. Learning to relax with the return or the response. And as you say, be fully present. In this moment. I really appreciate your short clips. And today, that blue on white. Goodness, truth and beauty to you and your precious family. Sending with gratitude.
There was a time when all the externals came with me into the studio. But I made the decision several years ago that when I shut the door behind me, all the negative thoughts, energy, comments, etc…..stay on the other side of the door. Then whatever goes in the studio stays in the studio (as they say)! I take responsibility for the problem paintings as well as the successful ones. This has really helped me to progress in finding my own voice. Thanks Nicholas for making us “think”!
Good advice for life in general, like usual food for thought. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing this empowering perspective!
It’s a great to shift away from things happening to you and being in control of them instead.
Thank you for such a brilliant post this morning, Nicholas. I’ve been familiar with the idea that I Create My Own Reality for a while now, but have had trouble integrating it. Your words supply the missing piece: I may not actually know HOW or WHY I am creating a particular reality experience, but just to know that it actually *is* ME that is creating it, not some factor from The Hostile Universe is…key. It puts me back in the driver’s seat, just as you say. I’m excited about how much this perspective is going to change my life!
I agree – I do the same. I always look to me first. Everything is from my perspective and I always have the choice of how to react. #BuddhistWay 🙂
Thank you .Nicolas! This is so true. It applies to every aspect of our lives too. We are easily affected by doubt…it can creep in and we realized the subtle signs and one thing can lead to another. So, yes this is an excellent pep talk!
I like being at the wheel. Means I can control the pace and stress! Lately slowing down has been the speed. It’s brought back the joy and a reminder as to why I’m in the art scene. I ask will saying yes to this opportunity bring me joy? Is it aligned with my purpose? Thanks for the video. Happy Sunday everyone!
Happy Sunday! thank you…my thoughts… Keep your energy field clear, so you attract what you want. This is helping me, note that your inner world is your center and stays the same, the exterior world changes. I love that one can take the driver seat and direct or pivot what you want to create.
Yes! The victim role is self harming.
It is the opposite of ‘creativity’
For more information check out this website.. (no affiliation)
http://powerofted.com/
Mostly what I love about this bit today is that when you were cleaning your studio — under all the mess, good work and “confusion” that had built up were hidden the little treasures like your daughter’s sweet message and finding that key. I kind of think that is a great reminder for life — we get busy and lose sight of what’s there all the time. Kind of like that “calm baseline” we can return to when we lose our ability to be “be in the present moment.” A friend once drew a spiral line and said when we are too wound up and focused on ourselves and our issues it is like we are moving into the center of that spiral and we get tighter and constrained but when we follow the line to the outside edges where the spiral opens up, we become more relaxed and open ourselves to what the universe has for us. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us through your videos, Nicholas. May your day be full of joy.
love this spiral analogy!
Great visual Kathy!
‘Help Yourself’ has always been my mantra. It is something that I try to pass on to my family and friends, you must at least try to help yourself first before asking or expecting anyone else to help. This stands for all aspects of life. Take responsibility – The buck stops with you – What are you going to do about it. These are some assertive ways of saying the same thing.
As you can probably tell from this is that I am my own harshest critic, but can be a good reminder when, as you say, things don’t go as planned or as you would prefer.
You CAN”T control everything. Other people’s minds for instance. They can be forgetful, or just plain inefficient, and they make choices that might not be agreeable to you. However, you CAN control how you react to life’s ups and downs, and you can learn to accept consequences of your, and other people’s, actions. You can choose to modify your own behaviour…slow down, be mindful. I must say I try hard to take my own advice…but sometimes shit just happens.
I totally agree, thanks for the reminder. When we stop blaming others and our circumstances, and take responsibility for everything that happens in our lives we Not only seem to have more control but we can be more patient and kind to others and consequently happier.
Many decades ago we sought help for raising our boys – from a psychologist. What he told us has stuck with me my whole life. “You alone are responsible for your thoughts and your words your actions.” Other training that I had a decade ago said that we need to be in control of ourselves first or we aren’t able to help family groups the environment etc. and these crazy days we do our best and it seems that other entities aren’t doing their’s and that makes it difficult for us. But by trying to get the external forces that seem to be controlling us, to do what they should be doing, puts us in control. Then we can move on. We need to own up to it That we need to take the bull by the horn’s and just do it! As always, your comments are right on and at the right moment and great reminders.
I have been going through one of those periods where i want to paint, but I hate everything I’m painting and questioning myself. “What kind of artist am I?” It’s tough. But I think you’re right about mindset. When I’m in a victim mindset, life sucks. But when I’m in a powerful creator mindset, the crappy painting days feel more like expansion and playing, etc.
Hmmm I really can’t come to blame myself for everything that happens…. I mean heck crap just happens, sometimes for unexplainable reasons. I think that what WE ARE responsible for is our reaction to what is happening. We truly have choices in our response to everything and depending on how we choose to react, it can make a difference in how things move forward. It’s a cause and effect kind of Buddhist thing… If you throw angry frustration at a situation you create a totally different effect on your environment than if you take a big breath, step back and don’t just react. More like just choose and sensible response based on the confidence that things will be ok and in the big picture you will be victorious in what you are trying to achieve. So in some way yes you are to blame on some level, mostly in the way you behave when things are not running smooth. That being said… I can definitely be accountable for the organization and parts of my life that I do have control over. And I agree with you totally on that front. Therefore if I created a chaotic life it’s because of my choices in living that way – good news is I can create something else as well, etc. etc. 😉
What if it wasn’t about control or blame, but simply awareness. Hmmm….
I think that what you are saying is stuff happens and what happens after that you are in control. How you respond negative or as you are saying here prospective and then positive. I am thankful to you for sharing your growth that comes form your inner prospectiveness. LOL not a word but heck I think you know what I am saying.
Thanks again
God bless
Kymee
another way I do this mental juggling with difficulty is thinking.. what can I learn from this problem?.. I ask myself.. what if I was 3 months from death.. would this bother me? … what am I grateful for, even though this is bothering me? Before I came up with these ways, I thought always oh, there is something wrong with me, . that can be a trap also. It does create more power in a way, but it too can be difficult, at least it was for me. Friends of mine said everything is not about what you did wrong, and need to fix, these are the kinds of things that everyone faces in life. That was a big learning for me! Now i rely on asking … what can I learn? In a few months would this still bother you, and what I am grateful for.
Love what you said. When you are in victim mode, you are not fully in your power. I am all for taking my power back. No more blaming. Thanks for sharing this. It was a great reminder.
I think I know what you mean: the more we accept responsibility, the more control we have! By feeling victimized, we relinquish this power to others. Let’s face it: reality is a mix of things we control and we don’t: by accepting that we can change certain things, even to a small degree, we change the dynamic of things.
Thanks for sharing this with us Nicholas!