The process of creating is up and down. In my practice, one minute I feel everything is going well then upon closer examination it can seem like whatever I am working on has taken a turn for the worst. I have grown accustomed to this choppy kind of inquiry. It just seems par the course whenever you are pushing into areas that are unexplored. This is how it feels to wander into foreign terrain. It is also why I think most of us stick with this practice. Creating Art is incredibly informative. I always learn so much in the process.
There is one emotional piece however, that I never get used to feeling. It has to do with a different kind of unease. I am talking about the restlessness, the gradual negative shift that occurs, over time, when you are not making your Art. This happens sometimes when you are burnt out and you just need to take a break or possibly you have been away on vacation. Of course there is nothing wrong with leaving your practice. That is just life. But what I consistently have found is that when I do, within a few days, my memory of how I felt about my work when I was involved with it diminishes. As time passes I begin to feel less and less sure of my current work. I actually like it less even though I am not even around it.
I become less and less sure the longer I wait to return to my Art. This of course, is a vicious cycle. It doesn’t feel good when you think about your Art, which leads to staying away longer till you do. For me that day never really comes. I just get more involved with other things, more distracted and start settling into a mild case of procrastination.
“You owe it to all of us all get on with what you’re good at.” W.H. Auden
But finally, one way or another, I just make my self go back. It feels so forced, but I just begin. Within 30 minutes that sinking feeling of not seeing the potential in my work just leaves. The glass is half full again. Buoyancy returns and I am back in it.
So the next time you are feeling low about your Art, check in whether or not you are actually making it. You might be surprised to see, as I was, that most of the time you are not. If so then just simply remember the positive shift you might be looking for is waiting for you in your practice. You just need to return.
In gratitude, Nicholas
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Hi! I’m
Nicholas Wilton
the founder of Art2Life.
With over 20 years experience as a working artist and educator, I’ve developed a systematic approach that brings authenticity, spontaneity and joy back into the creative process.
Join me and artists from all over the world in our Free Art2Life Artists Facebook Group or learn more here about Art2Life.
you know, you are so right! when i start to question myself & feel unsure about my artwork, it’s when i haven’t been painting for several days. I have never thought about it before, thanks for putting it into words!
Crazy right?…So many people feel the same way–not sure why this is, but it is..
“But finally, one way or another, I just make my self go back. It feels so forced, but I just begin. Within 30 minutes that sinking feeling of not seeing the potential in my work just leaves. The glass is half full again. Buoyancy returns and I am back in it.”
Yes! This seems true of so much. I’m only starting to get into painting, but I can already feel the ups and downs.
Yes! Making art for me so far, is always a pretty uncomfortable process, so it’s VERY hard to start. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love dipping my brushes in lusciously mixed paint and making something appear that wasn’t there before. If I’m diligent (and just a little bit lucky), I walk away at the end of the session with something that excites my visual senses and has stroked my inner need to feel creative. I feel more alive, more confident, validated, and just plain happy.
But all too often, it doesn’t go that way The hate side of the relationship rears it’s ugly head, and making art feels like I’m walking through thick, sludgey quicksand that wants to drag me down into a dark, airless space.
The discipline it takes to face this edgy path is hard — a lot!, for me. But, the alternative is no better. So, this work for me, is just like everything else in life worth having, I guess. Hard work. And so specifically to your point–yes, I mostly don’t like my work and find it very hard to “show up” at this point in the game. But, I am also finding extreme value in the dance I’m having within myself as I practice facing the beast. It seems a good way to strengthen the necessary muscles needed on life’s path.
Thanks for the pep talk and all your great posts. Much appreciated…..
You so nicely articulate this issue…what helps me a lot os to try to shift your thinking away from judgement- at least in your Art. ALL you have to do is show up and do what feels joyful to you…that is it! Don’t spend a minute more worrying when you are not making your Art. Then when you are making your Art try to do what feels the most enjoyable–the easiest for you–that is your path..and guess what–there won’t be any more worrying..Nothing else needs to happen–watch how your work starts shifting. The practice of Art is the one place that can be totally free and wonder ous…
It’s exactly as you say, Nicholas — sometimes I really must force myself into the studio, put a brushstroke on the canvas, and just start. Anywhere. I find that once I start, within 30 minutes I am cooking, and wondering why I was so doubtful. It’s really a challenge. Like Kate, I have a love/hate relationship with the process.
As someone who frequently starts and stops, (tortured perfectionist), the description of how you work through judgment and “paint your way out of a corner” is helpful and inspiring. It’s the over-thinking instead of just doing that gets in the way for me. Just starting in always feels good and all of a sudden I’m painting again.
Hey Chris! nice to hear from you… I know how you totally get immersed once you are painting though!
I can so attest to what you have been discussing. Sadly, I stayed away from my artwork for years, and just got more and more negative about it. I am starting to work again, and though my confidence isn’t great yet, it just feels right to be creating. I think we creatives have a part of our soul that needs to create, and when we ignore that we feel uneasy. Great post. Thanks. I love that quote by W.H. Auden.
This blog is so “current” for me. I would say that the experience you have with art is the same experience I have with my day job which is “medicine” and more timely Healthcare Practices. I love art as a way to experience the unknown as this is the same concern I have with my forward in my profession. the quote by W. H. Auden is spot on! Joining your group in Molokai in January….looking forward to these conversations and the art it creates.
Also, in response to the writer below…I too have that uneasiness when I am not creating. RR
Fantastic! I just so want to dive deeper with these comments–when I get to work with people at a workshop we can really shift things—looking forward to making Art w you!
This was just the kind of encouragement I’ve been needing lately. I seem to hate my work the most when I work too long or try too hard. Some days I just make a big mess and nothing good comes of it. Then I feel like I’m not an artist, that I’m just a pretender. But there are those times when someone surprises me and delights in what I’ve done and I remember “i did that.” Then I feel better if only ever so briefly. I suppose that we sometimes feel we should be brilliant all the time or that we’ve done it once. We exclaim that “this should be this hard.” Yet it is hard. This path is not easy, but so worth the work.
Ha! tht part about the pretender…isn’t that funny how only in Art do we feel like if we are struggling that our whole job title can go away! I hear you and try to focus on when things are easier–that is your work, your path w your Art that is worthwhile following..It doesn’t have to feel like a huge burden all the time..the burden part, how you think about it is entirely in your control–I do the same thing-then I go away and come back and think what did I put myself all through that? Think even, showing up consistently w out the rollercoaster ride–making art actually when you are doing it is not painful -if it is try shifting it so you are working in a way that is more pleasurable…
What a gentle, well articulated reminder just when I need to hear it the most. I so value your blog and writings Nick. Thanks for helping keep all of us on track. Have a wonderful time in Haramara.
Anne! I was ust looking at a pic of you when we in Spain…How is your Art going!!! I am really glad ur r getting my posts and they help you…see you soon I am sure
Your words ,really gets to the bottom line. The anxiety to restart can be difficult and a challenge.
After a break sometimes I lose the emotional connection and hope the thread of connection returns.
I feel shattered and get anxious. This is particularly true at this time, I am trying to build a cohesive body of work.
What seems to help the most, is start with music and ramdom drawing in a notebook, as a warmup.Then layout the paints and go for it. The comments made by other artists are so supportive and we are all together in this fish bowl.
Yes–isn’t it cool to read everyone’s experiences….best part of my day1 You are not alone..thx
Ah, yes. this is a familiar scenario. I think it was Joyce Carol Oates who said her house was always cleanest when she was about to start a new novel. We artists at times find many things to do in order to avoid that canvas and all the potential frustrations and feelings of failure that it may bring forth. My cure? I go to art museums and galleries, thumb through my art magazines, or sit with an art book of some of my greatest inspirations… Klee, Miro, Henry Miller, Chagall, Matisse, et al. Soon I have an itch which can only be scratched by putting paint on canvas!
Nice!–thx
This is why art is valuable. Rhe energy that comes from being brave
and truthful is left behind in our work.
Thank you for your soulful writing. My heart feels calm now.
Nicholas–thank you for sharing your process. Your willingness to express
not only your insights and understanding, but your challenges and insecurities, is helpful to everyone.
Yes, thank you Nick. I have this happen at times. However, what happens most often to me is, I have bad experiences while making my art, ie–a painting that was growing towards something I love, gets ruined, and the memory of that makes it harder for me to go back to start new paintings. When I say ruined, I mean truly– it goes downhill till there is nothing left—just a bunch of mindless jumble that resulted from my searching and searching. The memory of this creates a negative feeling and makes me resist painting at times. I guess for that type of problem, if has more to do with being more careful in the process and not creating marks unless I have a clear intention with them. I wonder if abstract expressionists have to deal with this more, as at times I feel that that is what my process it like. Thanks again for your wonderful posts–always so heartfelt and insightful.
needed that.